So Miss Pickle is off on her first overnight school camp today. On one hand I feel completely free. On the other hand I feel like I should be doing stuff I can’t do when she’s around. Which is… um… nothing. I’m not that interesting. Separation This will be the second time she has not […]
That saying that “the days are long but the years are short” is so true. Somehow it has been ten years already since Pickle was born. She is so excited to finally be “double digits” and in way too much of a hurry to grow up for my liking. She is a thoughtful, kind, clever,
No appetite Or desire for anything not just food Mostly eating healthy, try to eat a good lunch when Pickle at Preschool. Discovered that I cooked mostly for him Just want to throw together something fast Pickle would live on pasta if I let her Looking back at this blog for inspiration
Bittersweet. On one hand, saying goodbye to 2018 – the difficult year I lost Mr Duncan. On the other saying hello to a year in which he won’t exist, except in our memories. When these milestones… holidays, birthdays, anniversaries come up, it’s hard not to count…and compare This is the first one without him. Last
Today it is two months since Mr Duncan died. I’m still trying to process the enormity of his death. And it’s insignificance. EVERYTHING has changed. Mr Duncan is dead. The life we created together is gone, along with the future we planned for our little family. How I see the world, how I feel, behave,
I wrote this, and a close friend read it for me, at Mr Duncan’s funeral. I first met Mr Duncan when he shared his umbrella with me standing in line for the London Summer Proms. That was Mr Duncan in a nutshell – thoughtful, kind, generous. We’d see each other socially at company events, but our
Near the end of last year, when she was three and a half, Pickle was having great success with cosmic ordering. She wanted a pink, two wheel bike, with a basket on the front and training wheels. Lo, the next day, the people around the corner put one that met her specification outside their house
I don’t even know where to start… More than two years later I find myself returning here, to this blog, where I felt so much safety and comfort while I was in pain… and I’m thankful that here is still available to return to. For the past couple of years I had little time between
Over the years of trying to get pregnant and my two losses I sometimes had insidious thoughts, especially during the throes of disappointment after another fruitless two week wait. Or over the weeks months of hopelessness and futility following a miscarriage. The thoughts undermined my confidence, my positivity, my hope I have always held a
With my first pregnancy I was a bit anxious because it was all a new experience. But I was innocent enough to believe things would probably be fine, until it all went downhill at ten weeks. With my second pregnancy I was hyper-vigilant. I worried and over-analysed every symptom until we passed 14 weeks